Christmas Break Part 1

Day 1
On the first day of Christmas break, 
The calendar gave to me
Four different parties,
in Three locations with
Two Birthday presents,
and a fruit platter instead of cookies.


Yes, I began the day realizing that I couldn't very well bring three dozen cookies to a party if I hadn't baked anything yet.  So after dropping off Miny at the skating rink for a party double-header, I headed to my Christmas party with a "I haven't done any baking yet" platter of bananas and tangerines. After a rip-roaring good time, and winning a chocolate tree and three sets of hillbilly teeth, I headed off to pick up another child (which shall remain nameless) from his party.

.....and this my friends is reason #254, why I often debate blogging about my life. at all. ever.

I was met at the door by an official kind of person, letting me know that not only had my son run off from the event once, but had then turned in a pocket knife that he'd brought, explaining that he has a habit of riding with strangers places, so he carries it for protection.

Oh boy!

Day 2
On the second day of Christmas break, 
My true love gave to me
Three hours alone.
...and I refused to go anywhere.


Day 3
On the third day of Christmas break,
I nearly lost my marbles.....


The day started like any other day when I am working and Eeny, Meeny, Miny, and Mo are all home to "help." Awful.

Lots of fighting.
Lots of arguing.
Lots of yelling.
Gingerbread cookies and frosting. Ev.ry.where.

At some point, Eeny presented an egg that he'd been soaking in vinegar...you know, to rubberize it?
He wanted to show his brothers how amazing it was. He also wanted to show them how it would bounce. Except it didn't. Ya, pickled, raw egg splatted all over the dining room floor. Dog quickly ushered out since dogs don't know to avoid raw, pickled eggs.

Then came my favorite part of the day. Errands. Ha!

We needed to pick up pictures at Costco......and Bill has no head.

We need to take the headless pictures to the post office to mail. But alas, the line of cars is down the street. We elect to label our package online and drop it off tomorrow.

We need to return something to Wal-mart and grab a few things. Somewhere between the post office and Wal-mart, I'm clocked in the head with half a piece of old pizza that someone found in the van and decides to be silly and throw. I don't have much time to respond because my phone is vibrating in my pocket...and I'm trying to park...and I know it is that important call I've been waiting for all day.

I park the van, not very well. It is pretty crooked in the space, but I have this important confidential call. So I tell the kids I'm going to hop out for privacy...and they all hop out.  So I tell them that I'm going to get back in if they are out. As soon as I get in, they all hop in too. Apparently, I do get points today for having my kids follow my lead.

It only takes about 3.2 minutes to wrap up this conversation, but of course it is during those 3.2 minutes that the driver of the car next to me comes back to her car and wants to leave and apparently thinks that I've blocked her in. So, she bangs on Eeny's window and tells him to open up and begins to scold him for his mother's driving habits.

I try to hop back in and move the van, but Meeny is in my seat. Where ya goin', Meeny?

Four kids yelling, 
Three out of their seats,
Two conversations at once....
and a strange lady glaring at me.


You know things are going downhill fast when your kids ask if they can go to Ross, and you let them know that you're not sure because if you kill one of them in Wal-mart, you will have to go to jail.

On the way home...

Me: Eeny, did you get your chores done?
Eeny: Sorta
Me: What did you do?
Eeny: I made my bed, and cleaned Duke's cage...and Duke is in the bathtub for now.
Miny: The bathtub??!!! He can totally climb up the side and get out!!
Me: (pressing speed dial #2) Hey, hon. Can you please go check and make sure there is still a large toad in the bathtub.
Superman: Yep, he's still there.

.....and day three comes to a close. Whew!