I started reading Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World by Jill Rigby last night.....and then I decided that my husband and I should read it together. Really, honestly, I need it more than he does. He was raised in the south, and has always had good manners. Things like, "Yes, Ma'am, and Yes, Sir" just roll off his tongue. He takes his hat off to pray, and never talks with his mouth full.Me on the other hand? I'll admit, simple manners have never been my strong suit.
So, we both agree that we need to work on the respect factor in our house. The reason why I'd like to read this together is that each chapter ends with discussion questions. I'd like to hear his heart and his thoughts and work on being united in this area.
That said, it may take us awhile to get through this book - because books make Superman sleepy...very sleepy.
Chapter one was entitled "What Went Wrong?" and the author's theory is that we've traded in generations of modeling and requiring respect with working on building self-esteem.
Jill says:
If your are parenting to build self respect in your children, you'll focus on who your kids are becoming rather than on how much you give to them......You'll teach your kids to do their best, whether that means being number one or not, and to work toward goals so they can experience the satisfaction and confidence that a job well done brings.Obviously she says more than that in a whole chapter, but what do you think? How do you clearly define the difference between self-respect and self-esteem? Do you think that this is "what went wrong?"
Probably. And to be honest with you my lack of self-respect resulted in no self-esteem, so I'm thinking self-respect is the best place to start!
ReplyDeleteThat's an interesting way to view it. I never thought about one resulting in the other when done in the right order.
ReplyDeleteSelf Respect is a component of self esteem. Without it, self esteem just becomes arrogance. In the rush to improve self esteem, we focused on making kids feel good, not respecting themselves and others.
ReplyDeleteI do think that there is a big difference in self-esteem & self-respect. Both are good things. But in this humanistic society we live in, people are constantly doing things to feel good about themselves.......but they end up doing things that are selfish & disresectful to themselves & to others.....because they are seeking the wrong things. We go over board in building up "self-esteem". Parents CAN, inadvertantly, create little narcissists. In the end that is damaging. When you feel good because you helped someone out or worked hard & got a good grade, those things build up self-esteem AND self respect. I don't know if I really answered your question or not...........
ReplyDeleteI think you are right, Boy Crazy. It is almost like one leads to the other. But the other alone just stays alone.
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